![]() I didn’t want to make too many trips back and forth.’ "I’m like, ‘I’m not supposed to pull a chair up to the buffet and start eating from the buffet? I didn’t know that. He tries to allay tensions with angry victims by acting dumb. You never know the reaction you’re gonna get." But that’s the great risk of pulling pranks. I asked Florentine: If people pulled the pranks on him that he pulls on them, wouldn’t he want to punch them in the face? One day, he went on the street to interview Van Halen fans, pretending to be simultaneously talking to band members on the phone and relaying dumb messages back and forth. He’s still pulling practical jokes for VH1 Classic’s "That Metal Show," a combination prank/metal music show. "The show hasn’t been on the air for three or four years, and if I do the voice, the place goes nuts." His Special Ed still resonates with fans who go to Florentine’s stand-up shows. "Eventually, if we got through that list, we’d just open the phone book and start making phone calls. To protect myself from the potential ravages of "Crank Yankers," I started talking very cautiously and briefly to any odd squirrel who called.įlorentine now tells me that was a good plan because, normally, he and other comedians would be given a list of 30 phone numbers to call. Florentine would stay at Bellagio, then record his calls at a nearby studio.Īs the rock critic back then, I sometimes fielded bizarro calls from weirdos. ![]() The show was produced by Adam Carolla and former Las Vegan Jimmy Kimmel, who set up a lot of calls from here. Years back, he played Special Ed ("I got mail, yaaay") and other characters while making prank calls for Comedy Central’s "Crank Yankers."Īt the time, I knew "Crank Yankers" was operating from Las Vegas. Special Ed: I WANNA GO TO HAWAII! I WANNA GO TO HAWAII! YAAAAAAAY!Comedian Jim Florentine changed the way I talk on the phone to strangers. ![]() Spoonie Luv: Strip club, strip club, for where are thy? Strip club, strip club, shot jizz in my eye.īackwoodsman: Sounds to me like you're low-bred. So wrap your toes around my johnson, it's time to beat my meat. So slim, so strong, so shapely, so graceful, and petite. Spoonie Luv: From your ankles to your instep, I really love your feet. Special Ed: I like to make poo-snowballs and throw them at people YAAAAAAAAYYY! Special Ed: Lady, do you play with your vagina?īackwoodsman: Lady, who you callin' a lady when yer talkin' to a man? Security Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, we don't have any openings.īircham: You don't have any openings for a guy who can put on a blindfold, dismantle an AK-47, oil it up and reassemble it in under four minutes?īircham: No openings for someone who can slip in under cover of darkness, garrote his target with piano wire, and escape undetected, you don't have any openings for someone like that?īircham: A man who put his ass on the line for two tours in Vietnam, so you could go home to your lesbian partner, and live in a judgment-free society. You're an innie or an outie understand? You either got a fishing hole or a fishing pole.It's franks and beans or fish taco, Capiche? Come to think of it, I was raped by teenagers.Ĭammie: And don't hate me for being ugly, I didn't make you that way, God did.īirchum: You're recording this? Well, guess what! I'm recording it too, and I'm gonna put it on basic cable!Īrthur Johnson: Listen, I've been around this shiny blue marble a few times and i've never met a unisex person. Birchum: You know, I probably wasn't abducted by aliens.
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